Philophobia.

It was all over my face. I couldn't care less if you dont want to have to do anything with me. It's your loss not mine. I'm rocking my world while you... owh well, I dont give a damn either.



Just so you know.



I was on page 12? or 18? when my eyes were getting wet. That was fast, wasnt it? Maybe I feel it personally attached to me.



p/s: My entries are very emo like when i look perfectly fine in reality. Heck yeah.

Chu~.

I got my books now. I just need to have some time of my own to read them. =)




My very first paycheck! woot! Got it last wednesday. teehee~ But it's not really that much. Anyway, it's getting better there, I have to say I've blend quite well with them. The people are awesome , they made me feel welcome and happy. I just need to try harder on learning things, I need to start to love manufacturing! Well, let's give some time to that. Haha Seriously I'm not really fond of manufacturing subject, I only learn it one semester and that was in my first year. My work is like 100% on manufacturing and material as well . I hate both subjects and can you imagine how nightmare is that to me ??!! TT.TT I guess i need to suck it up since i've got no choice and giving up is not an option either . Aha. *pat myself* Good luck to me. Tsk.


My emo mood turns on easily these days which is NOT good at all. I can really be a _____ in that mood. Even I scared of myself, but you can never know what you've become during those times, cant you? I hate it. Really.

One for one.

I hate to be the one who always have the mood swing.


But it's rather hard to pretend that it's okay when it doesn't. I never mean to be rebellious just to hurt your feelings but i'm sorry i cant act gently to show that i didn't agree with you and i don't like to be treated that way. I know my action was rather hurting your feeling but you should know it hurts mine too :(

Sometimes it's hard for me to bottle up my feelings and it tends to show when i get my eyes teary and my cheeks turning red. I always be the one who try hard not to make you worry about and as the time goes on, your expectation goes as high as mountain. It puts me under pressure, it's rather complex for me. I want you to always be happy , i even will take a bullet for you without doubt. I care for you more than i care for my own life. It drives me insane when i see you try to make me happy when i'm the one who should.



It's a fact that no one can ever controls me.




p/s: I need to read the last song like right now.

Hello again.

Tetiba terjumpa balik. Haha Tak bagi I nakal2 la tu. XD XD

Where art thou.

Guess what. My rings are all gone now! Pfft.


The ring that i wore on my right middle finger (haha. ni bukan nak mencarut ok!) belongs to my sis. It's her previous relationship ring. She specifically warned me not to lose it but now i did and I wont tell her . (Sumpah jahat. But she wont notice anyway. Gagagaga) I accidentally lost it on Monday and i knew where it went but ... well you could guess what happen to it. (Malu i nak terang. ahaks.)


And today I lost the one at my left middle finger ( sekali lagi. ni bukan nak mencarut ok!). I put it off before I took my wudu' and I remember that i put it in my pocket. After Solat, I wanted to put it back on and it was nowhere to be found in my pocket! I thought it's still somewhere in my pocket so I just went back to my office. Soon after that, i made thorough check in my pocket and it still can't be found. =( I double check at Surau and it didnt succeed anyway. I guess it wont be found anymore . TT.TT


Now here's the thing. Last week, my colleague (a guy) ask me about my left middle finger ring.

" Ni cincin apa? Cincin risik ke? Emas putih ke silver?"

*sumpah rasa nak tergelak bila dia cakap cincin risik*

I answered. " Mana ada. Cincin beli sendiri. Stainless steel sudey." He didnt went any further after that. I thought to myself after that ,' Aish. Ni rasa malas nak pakai cincin esok ni. Nanti orang ingat dah tak avail'.HAHAHAHAHAHA *gelak annoying* He's married anyway (tak yah nak scandal2) . So now, padan muka dengan diri sendiri. Dua-dua cincin dah hilang. =(


I think i wont buy any ring after this. I'm done with my carelessness. I'll just wait for my wedding ring patiently (MUAHAHAAHA WTF!) and then, maybe, i wont be so careless anymore. rofl.

Mari menggedik.

Suka tak rupanya I ada wifi kat hostel?
Suka tak rupanya wifi ni pun laju juga walaupun satu bar je?
Suka tak I boleh menyemak kat wall u'ols ?
Suka tak I boleh tayang nama kat livefeed u'ols?
Suka tak u'ols boleh YM je I tak yah abeskan credit mesej I?
Suka tak I boleh update subtitle IRIS?




Suka tak? Suka tak ? Suka tak?





U tak suka, I peduli ape. I suka.



p/s: Tah2 hari ni je wifi ni macam bes. TT.TT

When i look at you.

by Miley Cyrus

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy...

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When I look At You I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars Hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I Know I'm Not Alone.

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like Kaleidoscope colors that
Cover Me, All I need every
Breath that I breathe don't you know
You're beautiful...

Yea Yea Yea

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you
I look at you

Yea Yea Oh OH OH

And you appear Just like a dream
To me.

Another song by Miley which caught my attention. It's a soundtrack from her upcoming movie , The Last Song , which adapted from Nicholas Spark's novel. I want to see the movie and read the novel so bad! I'm not really fond of sad ending movie or novel, but i just cant say no to Nicholas sparks. Haha Okay i only read one of his novels so far but this one seems too tempting ! Dear John looks so promising too with Channing Tatum in it ... Okay fine. I have to buy both !

Anyway, i was first hear this song when i was watching The Last Song's trailer. It sounds so beautiful and fits so well with the trailer ! It brings out the emotion and clearly deliver the message despite the fact Miley is the singer of the song. I'm not her hater, but well... you know what i mean. Some people is born with the talent and not the attitude, i'm just trying to be neutral here anyway.


Here's the trailer:




Dear John!





p/s: Hah. Kan da bagi update banyak sikit! Haha.

Dear John.

"When you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it's just as hard as what you're going through."

I hope you didn't think that i did it purposely to humiliate you. Never in life. I did it because i do care. I have million things in mind right now to be bothered with, but when i do stop and look over for you, it should brings meaning to me.


----------------------------------


I've realised that I've been on hiatus with project 365 for such looongggg time. I guess it wont be completed or even resume anymore. Photography is always my passion but to have such commitment , i guess i just cant hang onto it - though no one ever made me to do it. My priority is clearly on different thing which i can no longer see as easy as it was ( it never was easy but it's getting tougher now). It seems that people keep on questioning what's my purpose of doing things i do right now. They say I dont look like the person who's really into it and it hurts my pride even though i DO admit i'm really not into it or have no idea why i did it anyway. But one thing i'm quite sure of, when i'm willing to do something, I make the best of it, through rains, pains, tears,and bloods.

Never take me to your joy ride, i aint your best companion.

It's crazy as it sounds. I cant take my eyes off you.
Stupid cupid. That arrow landed only on me.
It's infatuation. The feeling wont lingers for too long.
That's the no.1 rule in the game i play.
Dont be scared. I'm as harmless as i can be.

The fact that i dont have enough courage to say hello.
It's plain to see that i will never stand that chance.

"Now you want to be free,
So I'm letting you fly..."

--------------------------


The more you learn, the more you didn’t know.


You may think you are all that, but remember, there’s always another person who’s better than you, and the cycle goes on.


Sometimes this life is expecting more than you could ever imagine, but this life is never a straight and smooth road anyway. It’s like roller coaster ride, and there were times you pray that it didn’t become malfunction and comes crashing down.

Abracadabra.

I cant believe i'm 21 already and i'm going to work this wednesday (well , it's internship but whatever). I'm an adult now. Erk i take that back, I mean adolescence. hee~ Can i like stay forever 21? (eceh saje je) My dad seems a bit excited about me going for internship . I bet he couldnt believe it either that i've grow up so much. Especially i'm not really acting my age.haha
He talked to me last weekend how he's tired of going to work, being stress about work and all. Yeah, you get the picture. I pretend like i have nothing to say (technically i am). Ayah you cant retired just yet, not at least until i land myself a permanent job. *straight face* I once told my mum that sometimes i feel like i'm their oldest son. My mum laughed at it but she was kinda agree to it. I guess i've step in my late brother's shoes (owh i miss him =( )


Holiday is too short =( I still have IRIS to finish and i dont even know how the heck i'm gonna have time to go to UM and meet my lecturer to discuss about thesis. Dayum. Well , i have a wild card but let's keep it for now.


I'm quite nervous for this wednesday. New places, new people, new friends. I'm not good with giving first impression. So I'm bit anxious for that particular matter.


Nite everyone. Sweet dream. ;D ;D